Retro Hotmud 2-19-2002

08/14/06 09:00 am

Tuesday, February 19, 2002

In-N-Out URGE — Posted by — hotmud @ 11:44 PM EST

Tonight here at we offer another installment in the seemingly neverending series of pointless jabs at net culture we like to call Faux Porn Links�. Like a shockingly bad Mexican soap opera dubbed into Mandarin the FPL finds your proverbial “last nerve” and sinks in it’s fangs in an effort to hopefully enlighten your netburned minds. At the very least it may elicit a chuckle or two and dump you ususpecting in a place you’ve never been before. That’s never all bad now is it? Smoke and mirrors baby, use thier tools and words against them and they may eventually fall. So what if we’re trying to slay Mega-Mecha-Goliath with with a slingfull of atoms, is it any better to be complacent and/or complicit?

Our festivities tonight are brought to you by our newest sponsor, Jay’s Used Auto Parts and Bait Shack out on State Highway 57 in West Pensyltucky, Ohiovania. Are you having trouble finding hubcaps for your ’78 Le Baron? Jay will probably have a set or he can get you one “real soon” if you know what I mean. Too many junkers up on blocks in front of the trailer? Jay’ll haul ’em away and crush them down in the big machine out back and even throw in a complimentary box of nightcralwers with every purchase. Just don’t let him accidentally haul away your cousin Joey who’s been sleeping in the backseat for the last few months after his wife left him for the door to door sex toy salesman. That would be a tragedy of epic proportions without a doubt.

For all of the new folks out there I’ll quickly explain that the FPL is a deconstruction of the net’s culture of pornography that takes a link phrase from a real porn site and through the power of Google sends the surfer not a member’s login and 47 pop up advertisments but somewhere altogether “different”.

Let’s get straight to the action shall we?

whores check in, but they don’t check out
100% more lesbian sex than before
your kids will think you are a pervert

And as an added bonus tonight we have a Disturbing Search Request of such specificity that it astounds me. This was in the referals this past week and it has got to be the lengthiest search string I think has ever “hit” this site.

The string was:

“(insane or disturbing or shocking or absurd) and (remove or removed or removal or “cut off” or “sliced off” or “slice off”) and (genitalia or genitals or penis or penises ) and (gallery or photos or images or pictures)”

Um, yeah. We’ve got lots of that.

I have some stuff planned for the site this week so stay tuned true believers.


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